Drive Like Hell!
by Haruki-Kun
Summary: Leon Kennedy's on vacation with his close friend Claire Redfield and her brother Chris as they go on a road trip together. Poor Leon! He'll learn that the Redfield's version of a getaway is far from ordinary! Let's not forget Albert Wesker's plan to kill the Redfield's, Nemesis stalking them, and... Ada Wong in a bikini? This will be one hell of a ride for Leon! (Comical AU)
_**Drive Like Hell!**_

 _The "Us" Complex_

"Finally, a quiet day. A day without being dispatched on another assignment…" Said Leon Scott Kennedy.

It's been several months he's had a break; actually, he doesn't remember the last time he had a vacation. Leon was happy to know he need not to worry about saving a world leader's child, nonetheless. He yawned and threw himself on the couch.

"Now… What to do today?" He pondered. He glanced at the TV for a moment and saw the PS4 on standby mode along with a copy of Street Fighter V on the coffee table. He silently groaned as he remembered how boring the game was, plus he was never any good at fighting games.

Leon tossed around on the couch as he thought of what he could do today. The shooting range was closed on Sundays, Helena said she was busy, and spending a day with Ashley wasn't the best way to kill time. He's already had enough sleep for the day, too. Within a moment Leon sighed, officially giving in to the notion that there simply wasn't anything to do.

"The one day without work and already I'm bored…" He muttered to himself. He looked towards the ceiling and drew a deep breath, "I wonder how Claire's doing… Still must be hauling paperwork around at TerraSave."

Leon hasn't seen Claire for a while. What with all his agent duties, the thought of just calling her always tends to slip his mind. He even remembered that Claire gave him her phone number. This time, without any distractions to lure him, Leon decided to at least call Claire to see if she's all right. He pulled out his smartphone and started dialing. A brief moment passed and a voice was heard.

"Hello?"

"Uhh… Claire? It's me, Leon."

"Leon?!" Her voice was a mix of shock and excitement. He could hear something falling and someone cursing over the phone, "Sorry about that… So! How have you been?"

Leon smiled a bit, happy to hear the cheerful voice of an old friend and fellow survivor. "Fine, lately. Just a bit bored 'cause I'm off today."

"So you're on vacation?" Claire asked.

"Yeah."

There was a moment of silence, then Claire was commanding someone to move something.

"Is this a bad time?" Leon asked, "I'll call back later…"

"No, no! But…" Leon felt the hesitation in Claire's voice, "I was thinking that maybe you could come along on a road trip. Please, Leon? It would mean a lot to me. We could catch up again… for old time's sake."

Leon stayed silent. It would be nice to drive across the country with someone he knew and trusted—even if the roads were zombie-infested. He hasn't seen Claire in ages so this was his chance (and his only chance) to spend time with her under 'normal' circumstances.

 _Hey, beats spending a day with the president's daughter…_ He thought.

But then it hit him—Helena Harper. Helena was like your typical nagging housewife— always asking where you're going, who you're going with, how long will you be out. Although they were partners, there were times where Leon wanted to shoot himself (or his ears) because of Helena's constant questions and complaints. In truth, Leon was glad Helena was busy today doing what? He doesn't know nor does he care. But Leon knew that if he told her, Helena wouldn't shut her trap.

 _Eh, she'll forgive me. She always does…_ Leon concluded, _And Claire did say please…_

Leon chuckled, "Alright, alright. I guess I can tag along."

Claire let out a cheery, triumphant shout and Leon could hear the sounds of more equipment falling and the same voice cursing again. There was something familiar about that voice, but he just couldn't tell who it was.

"Pack only the essentials and meet us at my apartment at 3:00, 'kay?" Claire asked merrily.

"3:00. Got it," Leon ended the call and smirked.

He's going on a road trip with Claire Redfield… even though Ada Wong was the love of his life, this was like a date. He and Claire…. driving across the country… sightseeing and killing some B. on the way… Those were only the beginning. Leon closed his eyes, dreaming about the wonderful time they'll spend together.

"…Wait. 'Us'?" Leon asked abruptly. He scrambled to get his phone, and he fell off the couch in the process.

 _What's with this 'us' business? Who's 'us'? There's a third wheel going with us?_ He stared at his phone and sighed.

 _Well, that explains the "other person" Claire was giving orders to. Man, this blows…_

Despite his disappointment, Leon remained optimistic. He knows he's heard that other voice before, but he just couldn't put a name on it. It didn't matter though because he would know who it was once he was at Claire's apartment, so he wouldn't bother himself.

Like Claire asked, Leon packed only the essentials.

"Clothes? Check. Shoes? Check. Guns? Check. Toothbrush? Check. Spare underwear? Uh…"

Irritated, Leon opened his drawer and took two pairs of boxers and one pair of briefs. He didn't want another 'accident' to happen just because he couldn't hold it. It has happened.

"Spare underwear? Check…" He said, content with himself.

Before Leon bolted his apartment, his phone rang again. Annoyed, he checked who it was. Helena… it had to be Helena.

"Damnit, Helena! NOW you want to call me?!" He mumbled, "I'll call back later… she'll understand."

He ended the call, put his phone back in his pocket and in a flash, he dashed out the door. Leon smirked to himself.

"Now _this_ is what I call a vacation!" He called out.

* * *

 _ **Finally published the first chapter... Thank goodness.**_

 _ **This is an AU, so expect some various RE characters from different games.**_

 _ **It is hinted that I'm going for a Leon X Claire pairing, but I want to throw Ada into the mix eventually (Oooh! Is there a love triangle I'm sensing? More like a love square since Helena's here too ;-), but dang it, Leon! Why must you always get the girls?)**_

 _ **I might continue this...? I don't know. Life is catching up and I'm also writing a Super Smash Brothers fanfic.**_

 ** _Constructive criticism welcomed! I would like to know how to improve this story~_**

 ** _Thanks for reading the first chapter, Love! ~Hugs~_**

 ** _-Haruki-Kunn_**


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